The Learned.

Depending on my perspective that day I can either say I am a scholar of the arts, that it's about the learning and creating. More than likely though I've been viewing myself a jack of trades, expert of none. 

I searched for a craft my entire life it seems and nothing really sang to me. Nope. I am not an artist. Let us list things I've tried and ultimately abandoned. No particular order. Knitting. Weaving. Lettering. Calligraphy. Watercolor. Painting. In high school and middle school I took every art class, a few of the highlights. Batik. Ceramics. Art 101, Art 102, Art 103, Photography, Block Printing, Screen Printing, Drawing, Advanced Drawing. In Elementary school I was surprisingly athletically outgoing and did gymnastics, tap dance, ballet, jazz on top of athletics including baseball, basketball and soccer. I played the flute, taught myself the piano. My brother handed me his guitar one day and without knowing any notes I was decided to make a song. And I did. Something simple of course. Not that it was amazing for someone experienced but it was still impressive for a someone that didn't know what they were doing. I was actually quite good at a few of these things. 

And that song, much like every thing else I just listed is something I have done then I move along to the next one ... This is a pretty general but spot the eff on statement for my entire life. 

Oh. Did I mention my last 6 years I spent bouncing around as a freelancer. You know what is even more hilarious. I have even had a blog before, well couple humble posts from my previous portfolio site, but it wasn't terrible it was thoughtful and considered; dare I say good even. I'm painfully introverted, which doesn't help. It might be the creating, and not so much about the glory for me. 

I think I would be happier if I didn't expect myself to be an artist of something at some point. I think could resign myself to it if I didn't feel an expectation that I be one eventually ... I'm I alone in this feeling.